If She Refuses to Abide by Legal Commands

Question :

I proposed to a woman three years ago and during this period, I used to write to her that Allah Willing after marriage, I would not allow her to work in a mixed environment, nor to shake hands with men who were not Mahrams for her. I would provide her with Qur'anic Verses and Hadiths and legal verdicts regarding these matters and others. But she would always reply that she would greet the sons of her maternal and paternal uncles and the neighbors' sons and that she would work in a place where there was mixing with men and she considered this to be a condition, so that there should be no dispute after marriage and she considered my guidance to her to be an imposition of my opinion on her I request Your Eminence to guide me and advise me what I should do.

Answer:

You have done well in the conditions which you have placed upon her, because it is incumbent upon Muslim woman to veil herself from every man who is not a Mahram for her and not to shake hands with them, according to the Words of Allah, Most High:
"And when you ask (his wives) for anything you want, ask them from behind a screen, that is purer for your hearts and for their hearts."

This Verse includes the wives of the Prophet and others, as is fundamental regarding the address of the Lawgiver, because Allah sent His Messenger to all mankind, so it is not permissible to particularize one of them with a legal ruling without a specific evidence which proves that, and because the reason for Allah's mentioning it which is to purify the hearts of all and every Muslim, male and female is in need of it.

Among other proofs of this are the Words of Allah, the Almighty, the All-Powerful:
"O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) all over their bodies (i.e. screen themselves completely except the eyes or one eye to see the way). That will be better that they should be known (as free respectable women) so as not to be annoyed. And Allah is Ever Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

And the Words of Him, the Almighty, the All-Powerful in Surah An-Nur:
"And tell the helieving women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts) and not to show off their adornment except that which is apparent (like both eyes for necessity to see the way, or outer palms of hands or one eye or dress like veil, gloves, headcover, apron), and to draw their veils all over Juyübihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband's fathers, or their sons, or their husband's sons."

-up to the Words of Him, Most Glorified:
"And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And all of you beg Allah to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful."

And Al-Bu'ulah are their husbands and Az-Zinah includes natural beauty, such as the face, the hands, the head, the feet. and other parts of the body. It also includes acquired beauty, such as jewelry, as is clear from the Words of Him, Most Glorified:
"And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment".

The meaning of beauty here, is the bracelet worn on the ankle. This is because showing natural and acquired beauty is one of the causes of trial and temptation (Fitnah) to men. Similarly, being soft in speech when talking to men is a cause of temptation and desire for those men in whose hearts there is a disease, as Allah, Most Glorified says:
"O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty (to Allah), then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner."

So He, Most Glorified forbade them from softening their voices and He commanded them to speak in an honorable manner, which means in moderate tones, without lowering the voice and without vain words. If the wives of the Prophet were forbidden from softening their voices and men were forbidden from speaking to them except from behind a screen, even though they were the most chaste of women and the most God- fearing, then it is even more fitting to fear Fitnah for other women, if they soften their voices or remove their veils.

Likewise, women shaking hands with men other than their Mahrams is not permissible due to the causes of Fitnah it includes, and it has been confirmed from the Prophet that he said:
"Verily, I do not shake hands with women."

And 'A'ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, said: "By Allah, the hand of the Messenger of Allah never touched the hand of a woman. He did not accept the pledge of allegiance from women except in words."

Therefore, it is incumbent upon all Muslim women to adhere to the Law of Allah and to preserve themselves from doing what Allah has forbidden for them, and to beware of the causes of Fitnah. It is an obligation upon their guardians to make them adhere to this and to guide them to the causes of salvation, happiness and the praiseworthy end result. This is in accordance with the Words of Allah, Most Glorified:
"Help you one another in Al-Birr and At-Taqwa (virtue, righteousness and piety)

And the Words of Him, the Almighty, the All-Powerful:
"By Al-'Asr (the time) Verily, man is in loss, Except those who believe (in Islamic Monotheism) and do righteous good deeds, and recommend one another to the truth [i.e. order one another to perform all kinds of good deeds (Al-Ma'rüf) which Allah has ordained, and abstain from all kinds of sins and evil deeds (Al- Munkar) which Allah has forbidden), and recommend one another to patience (for the sufferings, harms, and injuries which one may encounter in Allah's Cause during preaching His religion of Islamic Monotheism or Jihad)."

And the Words of Him, the Almighty, the All-Powerful:
"Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means."

And the Words of Him, the Almighty, the All-Powerful:
"The believers, men and women, are Auliya' (helpers, supporters, friends, protectors) of one another, they enjoin (on the people) Al- Ma'rüf (i.e. Islamic Monotheism and all that Islām orders one to do), and forbid (people) from Al-Munkar (i.e. polytheism and disbelief of all kinds, and all that Islam has forbidden); they perform As-Salat (Iqamat-as-Salat), and give the Zakāt, and obey Allah and His Messenger (3). Allah will have His Mercy on them. Surely, Allah is All-Mighty, All-Wise."

So Allah, Most Glorified has made clear in these Verses the obligation to cooperate with one another in enjoining right- eousness and piety, and to recommend one another to the truth, and to patiently persevere in pursuit of it. He explained in Surah Al-'Asr that complete benefit, perfect happiness and security from loss are for those who believe and do righteous deeds, and recommend each other to truth and patient perseverance in pursuit of it. This, He also made clear in the other Verse, which is the Saying of Him, the Almighty, the All-Powerful:
"The believers, men and women, are Auliya' (helpers, supporters, friends, protectors) of one another."

that complete mercy will only be attained by those who are steadfast in following His religion, and in obedience to Him and His Messenger.

So it is incumbent upon the believing men and women to hold fast to the Law of Allah, and to remain steadfast upon it, and to beware of violating it in this way the success will be attained by everyone as Allah has promised to the believing men and women in His Words:
"Allah has promised the believers men and women, Gardens under which rivers flow to dwell therein forever, and beautiful mansions in Gardens of 'Adn (Eden Paradise). But the greatest bliss is the Good Pleasure of Allah. That is the supreme Success.

We ask Allah that He grant success to us, and to all of the Muslims, and guide us, and keep us firm upon the truth. We advise you, the questioner, to seek another woman from among the observant believing women, instead of your fiancée, who refuses to observe the Legal Commandments (of Allah). Rejoice at the good news of goodness and an excellent result, if you are sincere in your quest and fear Allah therein, as Allah, the Almighty, the All-Powerful says:
"And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine."

And the Words of Him, Most Glorified:
"and whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make his matter easy for him."

May Allah make your path easy, fulfill your need, may He make the end result good for us and for you, guide your fiancée, grant that she may achieve success in adhering to the truth, and we
ask Him to protect her from the evil of herself and Satan. Verily, He is All-hearing, Near.