A Woman Declaring Her Husband to be Forbidden to Her is Not Az-Zihar

Question :

If a woman said to her husband: "If you do such-and- such, you will be forbidden to me, as my father is forbidden to me,'' or she cursed him, or he sought refuge with Allah from her, or the opposite, what is the ruling on this?

Answer:

A woman declaring her husband to be forbidden to her, or comparing him to one of her Mahrams (father, uncle, brother etc.) carries the ruling of an oath. It does not fall under Az-Zihar, because Az-Zihar is only from husbands to wives, according to the Words of Allah in the Nobel Qur'an.

It is incumbent upon a woman in such cases to perform the atonement for an oath, which is to feed ten poor persons, giving each poor person half a Sa of the staple food of the country, which is equivalent to approximately one and a half kilograms. If she gives them lunch or dinner, or clothed them in garments fitting for prayer, it would be enough, according to the Words of Allah, Most High:
"Allah will not punish you for what is unintentional in your oaths, but He will punish you for your deliberate oaths; for its expiation (a deliberate oath) feed ten Masäkin (poor persons), on a scale of the average of that with which you feed your own families, or clothe them or manumit a slave. But whosoever cannot afford (that), then he should fast for three days. That is the expiation for the oaths when you have sworn. And protect your oaths (i.e. do not swear much).

A woman declaring forbidden that which Allah has made permissible for her carries the ruling of an oath. The same is the case for a man declaring forbidden that which Allah has made permissible for him apart from his wife-it carries the ruling of an oath, according to the Words of Allah, Most Glorified:
"O Prophet! Why do you forbid (for yourself) that which Allah has allowed to you, seeking to please your wives? And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. Allah has already ordained for you (O men) the absolution from your oaths. And Allah is your Maula (Lord, or Master, or Protector) and He is the All-Knower, the All-Wise."

When a man declares his wife to be forbidden to him, it carries the ruling of Az-Zihar-according to the most correct view of the scholars if the declaration of the prohibition was "Munjaz," or, "Mu'allaq;" dependent upon some condition, and he did not intend by it to encourage or prohibit, or to affirm belief or to belie. For example, if he said: "You are to me as the back of my mother," and the like, according to the most authoritative view of the scholars, as mentioned previously. This is forbidden and it is a form of hateful speech and untruth; and the one who says something like this must turn to Allah, Most Glorified in repentance.

The atonement for Az-Zihar must be made before he touches his wife, according to the Words of Allah, the Almighty, the All- Powerful in Surat Al-Mujadilah:
"Those among you who make their wives unlawful to them by Zihar (i.e., by saying to them: "You are like my mother's back,") they cannot be their mothers. None can be their mothers except those who gave them birth. And verily, they utter an ill word and a lie. And verily, Allah is Oft-Pardoning, Oft-Forgiving."

Then Allah, Most Glorified says:
"And those who make unlawful to them (their wives) by Zihar and wish to free themselves from what they uttered, (the penalty) in that case is the freeing of a slave before they touch each other. That is an admonition to you (so that you may not repeat such an ill thing). And Allah is All-Aware of what you do. And he who finds not (the money for freeing a slave) must fast two successive months before they both touch each other. And he who is unable to do so, should feed sixty Masakin (poor)."

The food, one is required to give is half a Sa' of the staple food of the country to each one, if it is not possible to free a slave or fast.

As for a woman cursing her husband, or seeking refuge with Allah from him, that is forbidden for her, and she must turn in repentance to Allah and ask forgiveness from her husband. Her husband is not forbidden to her by such statements, nor is there any atonement incumbent upon her for saying it.

Likewise, if he curses her, or seeks refuge with Allah from her, she is not forbidden to him, and he must turn in repentance to Allah for such speech, and ask his wife's forgiveness for cursing her. This is because a Muslim cursing a Muslim man or woman whether it be his wife or another is not permissible; indeed, it is one of the major sins, and likewise, a woman cursing her husband or any other Muslim is not permissible. This is based on the saying of the Prophet :
"Verily, those who curse will neither be martyrs, nor will they receive intercession on the Day of Resurrection".

And his saying:
"Verbally abusing a Muslim is disobedience, and fighting him is an act of disbelief.

We ask Allah for His Protection and safety from all that invokes His Anger.