To Part Company From A Backbiter

Question :

A friend of mine backbites frequently, so much that it seems to be second nature for him. I have advised him. over and over again, but to no avail: He does not stop, even though sometimes he seems to be doing it with a good intention. My question is this: May I dissociate myself from him?

Answer:

To attack a Muslim's honor by saying something he would not like is a great evil, and an unlawful form of backbiting, and it is one of the major sins. Allâh Almighty said:
"O you who believe! Avoid much suspicions, indeed some suspicions are sins. And spy not, neither backbite one another.

Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear Allah. Verily, Allah is the One Who accepts repentance, Most Merciful."

In his Sahih, Muslim recorded that Abu Hurairah, may Allah be pleased with him, said that the Prophet ﷺ said:
"Do you know what backbiting is?"

They said, "Allah and His Messenger ﷺ know best." He ﷺ said:
"For you to say about your brother that which he hates."

Then someone said, "What if what I say about my brother is true." The Prophet ﷺ answered:
"If he really is as you say of him, you have backbitten him; if he is not as you say of him, then you have slandered him."

In another authentic Hadith, the Prophet informed us, that when he ascended to the heavens, he saw people whose nails were made of copper; they were scratching their faces and their chests. He asked Jibril about them, and Jibril answered, "They are those who eat people's flesh and who attack people's honor." This was recorded by Ahmad, Abu Dawud, with a good chain from Anas, may Allah be pleased with him. The eminent scholar Ibn Muflih said that its chain is authentic. He also said, "Abu Dawud recorded, with a Hasan chain of narration from Abu Hurairah, [from the Prophet], that among the major sins is to elaborate about a a Muslim man's honor without right."

It is compulsory not only upon you, but upon all Muslims to refrain from sitting with those who backbite their Muslim brothers, and to advise and censure them, because the Prophet ﷺ said:
"Whoever from you sees an evil, he should remove it with his hand; if he is not able to do so, then with his tongue; and if he is not able to do so, then with his heart (by hating it), and this is the weakest (level of) faith."

If he doesn't heed your advise, forsake his company altogether, for then you will have completely reproached him. May Allah Almighty improve the situation of Muslims and may He guide them to the way that will bring them happiness and safety, both for this life and the next.