✨Be good to Your Mother

By sheikh Seif Al Rahman Taymi

Today, our talk is about the steadfast heroine, the devoted and striving warrior, our talk is about the wellspring of tenderness and compassion, and the container of mercy and compassion, our talk, today, is about the most faithful friend, and the best companion, our talk is about the one who played for you the role of a nurse and a doctor, an educator and a teacher, a soldier where there is neither troop nor fight, such a watchful guard who has no break. She is sincere in her work and no one is sincere like her among all human beings. She strains her body and heart day and night, and she has no salary to spend at the end of the month.

Listen to this amazing story that happened to righteous, worshiping man who stopped praying salah and worshiping. In “Sahih Muslim” prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, says: None spoke in the cradle but only three (persons), Christ son of Mary, the second one the companion of Juraij. Juraij had got constructed a temple and confined himself in that. His mother came to him as he was busy in prayer and she said: Juraij. He said: My Lord, my mother (is calling me while I am engaged in) my prayer. He continued with the prayer. She returned and she came on the next day and he was busy in prayer, and she said: Juraij. And he said: My Lord, my mother (is calling me while I am engaged) in prayer, and he continued with the prayer and she went back, and then on the next day she again came and he was busy in prayer and she said: Juraij. And he said: My Lord, my mother (is calling me while I am engaged in my prayer, and he continued with the prayer, and she said: My Lord, don't give him death unless he has seen the face of the prostitutes. The story of Juraij and that of his meditation and prayer gained currency amongst Bani Isra'il. There was a prostitute who had been a beauty incarnate. She said (to the people): If you like I can allure him to evil. She presented herself to him but he paid no heed (to her). She came to a shepherd who lived near the temple and she offered herself to him and he had a sexual intercourse with her and so she became pregnant and when she gave birth to a child she said: This is from Juraij. So, they came and asked him to get down and demolished the temple and began to beat him. He said: What is the matter? They said: You have committed fornication with this prostitute and she has given birth to a child from your loins. He said: Where is the child? They brought him (the child) and he said: just leave me so that I should observe prayer. And he observed prayer and when he finished, he came to the child. He struck his stomach and said: O boy, who is your father? He said: He is such shepherd. So, they turned towards Juraij, kissed him and touched him (for seeking blessing) and said: We are prepared to construct your temple with gold. He said: No, just rebuild it with mud as it had been, and they did that”.

Allah accepted his mother’s supplication, because it was most important and deserving to be accepted.

And Imam al-Nawawi said: “Optional prayer and its continuation is voluntary, not obligatory, and answering and honoring the mother is obligatory, and disobeying her is forbidden.” Rather, Allah has commanded to be kind to parents, even if they are polytheists, He said:

﴿وَإِنْ جَاهَدَاكَ عَلَى أَنْ تُشْرِكَ بِي مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِي الدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفًا﴾ [لقمان: 15]

“However, if they force you to ascribe partners to Me about whom you (can) have no (source of) knowledge, then do not obey them. Remain with them in this world with due fairness”.

Come, my brother, let us, instantly, contemplate this great verse that we have always heard:

﴿وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا﴾ [الإسراء: 23]

“Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and do good to parents”.

So, see how Allah the Almighty has combined the right of parents with His right, Glory be to Him. Except parents, Allah the Almighty did not associate anyone with His right. And He commanded to be kind to them, adopting to all words and deeds which belong to the benevolence.

Then he singled out after the general, and said:

﴿إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِنْدَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُلْ لَهُمَا أُفٍّ﴾ [الإسراء: 23[

“If any one of them or both of them reach old age, do not say to them: uff (a word or expression of anger or contempt)”.

(This is prohibition from the slightest verbal abuse).

“And do not scold them”. ﴿وَلاَ تَنْهَرْهُمَا﴾

(This is prohibition from kinetic harassment).

Ata bin Abi Rabah said: Do not shake your hand on them.

And when Almighty forbade from ugly speech and ugly action, He commanded servant to say good words and to do good deeds to them, and said:
“And address them with respectful words”. ﴿وَقُلْ لَهُمَا قَوْلاً كَرِيمًا﴾

Ibn Katheer said: That is: say to them in soft, kind, good words, with politeness, reverence and veneration.

Then Allah - Glory be to Him – commanded to express humility towards them and said:

﴿وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ﴾ [الإسراء: 24]

“And submit yourself before them in humility out of compassion”.

And he concluded the commands in the verse by praying to them:

﴿وَقُلْ رَبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا﴾.

“And say, “My Lord, be merciful to them as they have brought me up in my childhood”.

My blessed brother, If you can see your mother and can sit with her every day, then do so. If you are far away from your mother, then call her; This is from righteousness with her and giving pleasure to her. Present to her before she asks you, ask her about her needs and look for them, pray to Allah for her, show pleasure by her asking from you and after fulfilling her order, give her a gift from time to time, and be generous if you are well-off, teach her about her religion and about what raises her degree near her Lord, kiss her head when greeting her, take your children to visit her, take care of the needs of her daughters and sons; Because it makes her pleased, do not disseminate your concerns before her, because, she already has enough. Consult with her and inform her about some of your affairs. Show your concern for your brothers and sisters; Because, seeing your bonding, warms her heart. Talk to her about the topics that she loves. One of the preachers says: One of the mothers used to show more satisfaction with one of her sons, despite knowing that they are all good. So, he was asked about the reason for that. He said: There is a key of my mother which rest of my brothers did not use. He said: What is that? He said: Very simple, I talk to her about what concerns her, so-and-so got married, and so-and-so had a son, and so-and-so got sick and I visited him, and so on. As for the rest of my brothers, they often talk to her about construction, shares, and so on.

My blessed brother,the doors of righteousness are too much, so, try to enter all of them, and do that also with your father, and take advantage of their lives.

Oh Allah, guide us to do righteousness with our mothers and fathers, and pardon our shortcomings and negligence.

There is no comprehensive book except the book of Allah, the Almighty, and Allah describes us a part of our mothers’ suffering when they carried and breastfed us.

﴿وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنْسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ إِحْسَانًا حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ كُرْهًا وَوَضَعَتْهُ كُرْهًا وَحَمْلُهُ وَفِصَالُهُ ثَلَاثُونَ شَهْرًا﴾ [الأحقاف: 15]

“And We have enjoined upon man to do good to his parents. His mother carried him with difficulty and delivered him with difficulty. And his carrying and his weaning is (in) thirty months”.

And in other verse, He said:

﴿وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنْسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْنًا عَلَى وَهْنٍ وَفِصَالُهُ فِي عَامَيْنِ أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ إِلَيَّ الْمَصِيرُ﴾ [لقمان: 14]

“We commanded man (to be good) in respect of his parents. His mother carried him (in her womb) despite weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. (We said to man,) “Be grateful to Me, and to your parents. To Me is the ultimate return”.

Qatada said regarding the meaning of verse, means: “suffering upon suffering”.

O, he who sees the richness as the comfort of his eyes, there is still much goodness in front of you. Honoring living parents is much greater than honoring dead parents. Rectify your condition and pray abundantly. In Sahih Muslim:” When a man dies, his acts come to an end, but three, recurring charity, or knowledge (by which people) benefit, or a pious son, who prays for him (for the deceased)”.

Give charity on their behalf, do good with their kinship and friends, fulfill their covenant; According to Ahmad and Abu Dawud, a man said: O Messenger of Allah! Is there any obedience to parents left that I can show to them after their death?

He replied, "Yes, to pray for them, to supplicate for forgiveness, to fulfill their promises after their death, to maintain the ties of kinship which cannot be maintained except through them, and honor their friends."

My esteemed brother, being kind to your parents is a great worship that brings you closer to your Lord, it is a reason for blessing and success, it is a reason to make things easier, it is a reason for your preservation and safety, it is one of the greatest reasons for honoring your offspring to you, and in general it is success in this world and the hereafter.

Then send blessings upon the one who is bearer of glad tidings and a guide to right path. (May Allah have mercy upon you.)

O Allah, O Possessor of the Most Beautiful Names and the Most High Attributes, forgive our fathers and mothers, reward them with kindness for their good deeds, and reward them with your forgiveness for their bad deeds.

O God, O Living One, O the All-sustaining, grant us to do righteousness with our parents, who are living and dead among them, and make us the coolness of their eyes. And give us and them the death while you are pleased with us, not angry.

Oh God, bless us with Baraka in our lives, in our children, and in our money.

Translated by: Alamgeer Usmani.