The ruling on Women visiting Graves and some Superstitions

Question :

Can I visit the grave of my son, as he has died and I heard from some of the people that if the mother goes to the grave before sunrise without crying and she recites Surah Al-Fatihah, her son will be able to see her. The distance between them will be like the holes of a sieve (strainer or sifter). However, if she cries over him, she will be veiled from him. What is the authenticity of this and what is the ruling on women visiting the graves?

Answer:

This action of a woman that you have mentioned - her visiting the grave of her son on the day of Al-Jumu'ah (Friday) before sunrise and reciting Surah Al-Fatihah without crying, then he will be unveiled for her so that she can see him as if she is looking at him through a sieve (strainer or sifter) - we say that this statement is not correct. It is a false statement that should not be relied upon.

Concerning the ruling on women visiting the graves, the scholars have differed concerning it. Some of them have said that it is disliked; some of them have said it is allowed if it does not contain anything forbidden; and some of them have said that it is forbidden. I think that the correct view from the statements of the people of knowledge is that it is forbidden for women to visit the graves. This is because the Prophet cursed the women who visit the graves, those who establish Masjids over them and those who place lights (or lamps) at them. The curse (of the Prophet) does not occur for an action that is allowed or disliked. Rather, the curse is mentioned concerning that action which is forbidden. The well-known principle with the people of knowledge necessitates that the women's visiting of graves is from the major sins, because it carries the curse (invoked by the Prophet). If the sin carries the curse (of the Prophet) then it becomes one of the major sins, just as the fundamental principle with many or most of the people of knowledge dictates. Based upon this, my advice to this woman whose son died is that she should increase in her seeking of forgiveness and supplicating for him in her house. If Allâh, the Most High accepts that from her, it will benefit her son even if she is not at his grave.

Source:
Ash-Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaimin
Fatawa Islamiyah, Vol. 3 Pages 103-104