Concerning visiting Graves and the People saying "His final abode"

Question :

In our land when a dead person is buried, his family leaves him for forty days without visiting him (i.e., his grave). After that they go to visit him, as they claim that it is not permissible to visit the deceased before forty days has elapsed. What is the extent of the correctness of this?

Answer:

Before answering this question we should first explain that visiting the graves is a Sunnah for the men. The Prophet commanded it after he had prohibited it. The visitor is the one who visits the graves in order to implement the command of the Messenger of Allâh and consider the condition of these dead people who were with him yesterday on the face of the earth. Now they are being held in pawn in their graves for their deeds (which will be presented on their behalf on the Day of Judgment). They do not have any friend or comrade.
Their only company is their deeds.

The grave is not the final abode. Rather, after it will come the Last Day, which is as Allâh described it, a Final Day, and there will be no day after it. In reference to the period of remaining in the graves, it is only a visiting period, as Allâh said:

"The mutual rivalry (for piling up wealth) diverts (or distracts) you all, until you visit the graves."

It has been mentioned that a bedouin Arab heard someone reciting this Verse, "until you visit the graves", and he said, "The one who visits, is not a resident who stays."

Since the time is appropriate, I would like to draw attention to a statement that some of the people say without thinking or contemplating. It is that when they speak about the deceased they say: "Then they placed him in his final abode." If we wish to look closely at the meaning of this statement, it contains a denial of the Resurrection. This is because if the grave was the final abode, this means that the person will not be resurrected after it. This is a dangerous matter, because belief in Allâh and the Last Day is one of the conditions of Faith and Islam. However, what seems apparent to me is that the common people say this without thinking about its meaning and contemplating. Nevertheless, it is obligatory to be aware of this and to know that it is forbidden for the person to say such an expression. If the person actually believes what the expression implies, then it is disbelief. Because whoever believes that the grave is the final abode and there is nothing after it, then he has rejected the Last Day.

In reference to visiting the graves after forty days, this is baseless. Rather, it is allowed for the person to visit his relative (the deceased) from the day after his burial. However, if someone dies, the person should not let his heart be too attached to him and he should not make abundant trips back and forth to his grave, as this will renew his grief and cause him to forget the remembrance of Allâh. This will make his greatest concern his being at this grave, and he may be tested by evil whispers, wicked thoughts and superstitions.

Source:
Ash-Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaimin
Fatawa Islamiyah, Vol. 3 Pages 105-106-107