It is an Obligation to Live With Wife in Kindness

It is an Obligation to Live With Wife in Kindness


Question :

Some young men may Allah guide them who are religious do not live with their wives in kindness. They spend much of their time doing things related to their studies or their work and they leave their wives alone or with their children in the house for long hours, citing work or study as the reason. What does your Eminence have to say about this, and should studying and work be done on the wife's time? Benefit us (with advice) and may Allah benefit you.


Answer:

There is no doubt that it is incumbent upon husbands to live with their wives in kindness, according to the Words of Allah, the Almighty, the All-Powerful:
"and live with them honourably."

and the Words of Him, Most Glorified:
"And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them. And Allah is All-Mighty, All-Wise.

When 'Abdullah bin 'Amr bin Al-'As spent his time standing in prayer at night and fasting during the day, the Prophet said:
"Fast and break your fast and sleep and stand in prayer, and fast three days from the month, because the good deed is rewarded with ten of its like. Verily, your self has a right upon you, and your wife has a right upon you, and your guest has a right upon you. So give everyone who has a right his due."

Other Hadiths are narrated to that effect. Therefore, it is legislated for young men and others to live with their wives in kindness, and be affectionate towards them, and be friendly with them, as much as they are able. And if it is possible for some of the study and work to be done in the house, then that is better in order to be friendly towards the wife and children.

In any case, it is legislated for the husband to set aside some time for his wife in which to be friendly with her and share good relations. This is especially so if she is alone in the house, without anyone except her children, or without anyone at all. The Prophet said:
"The best of you is the one who is kindest to his wife, and I am the kindest among you to my wives."

It is also legislated for the wife to support her husband in important matters relating to his studies and his work, and to be patient over any shortfall which might occur when he has no control over something, so that cooperation between them is achieved, according to the Words of Allah, Most Glorified:
"Help you one another in Al-Birr and At-Taqwa (virtue, righteousness and piety). "

and the Words of Him, the Almighty, the All-Powerful:
"Whoever fulfilled the needs of his brother, Allah will fulfill his needs."

"and Allah will support His servant as long as His Servant is supporting his brother."
And Allah is the Granter of success.


Source:
Ibn Baz
Fatawa Islamiyah, Vol. 5 Pages 367

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