Should He Bid Farewell to His Wife Before a Journey?

Question :

I have heard that when many married men are absent from their wives, or they are planning a journey away from her, they do not address them at the time of parting, nor at the time of returning. Is there any basis for this in the Islamic Law?

Answer:

What you have mentioned regarding many husbands not addressing their wives, nor bidding them farewell when embarking on a journey, nor addressing them upon returning from the journey has no basis in the Islamic Law. Observing this custom and considering it to be a part of the religion is an innovation which must be abandoned. This is apart from the fact that it is incumbent upon a man when he returns from a long journey, not to come to his wife at night, nor to come upon her unexpectedly by entering the house at an unguarded moment, so that she does not do something which he dislikes, and he does not find in her something which may make him averse to her. Rather, he should wait, in order that she may know that he is arriving and prepare for him. This is a part of keeping good relations and good-mannered marital life, and it is more appropriate for maintaining it and preserving it. And it has been authentically reported from the Prophet that he forbade men from coming to their wives at night, saying:
"If one of you has been absent for a long time, he should not come to his wife at night."

Jabir bin 'Abdullah, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Prophet said:
"If you arrive at night do not come to your wife until she has removed her pubic hair and combed her head."

So he made clear that the wisdom behind the forbiddance of one who has been on a long journey at night from entering upon his wife unexpectedly in the house to enable her prepare and beautify herself for him, and so that he does not find anything which he dislikes in her, or which makes him averse to her.

Therefore, if he writes to his family before returning and fixes the date of his return, he may enter upon them at anytime, since he is not considered unexpected, nor is he entering when she is unprepared. And may peace and blessings be upon our Prophet, Muhammad and upon his family and Companions.

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