Saying Supplications Against One's Children

Question :

Many mothers and fathers say supplications against their children when they make a mistake or an error. Please advise them regarding this.

Answer:

Our advice to parents is to forgive and overlook the shortcomings of their children when they are young. They must be patient in face of a harsh word or some other harm because children have minds that are not fully developed, which is why they err in speech and in deed. So it is hoped that the parents will be patient and overlook that. If a father is gentle
and forgives his son, that son will appreciate the gentleness and sincerity shown to him, and he will likely see his own faults and be penitent.

However, some parents commit the great error of supplicating against their own children, praying for death, affliction, or disease to befall them. Some parents may do so continually in one sitting, until eventually, when their anger subsides, they become sorry for the prayers they invoked against their children. They become sorry because the parent inherently feels love and gentleness to his child. And the only reason they said such things in the first place was the severe anger they were feeling.

Allah Almighty pardons such a person, for He Almighty says:
"And were Allah to hasten for mankind the evil (they invoke for themselves and for their children, etc. while in a state of anger) as He hastens for them the good (they invoke) then they would have been ruined."

Therefore, it is compulsory upon parents to be patient and to forbear; instead of praying against their own children, they should discipline them, and if necessary to strike them. lightly to make them cease their mischief. This reasoned striking could have a stronger effect than other forms of discipline. And we never know, perhaps that prayer might be written and take its course. And Allah Almighty knows best.

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