It is Incumbent Upon a Woman to Obey Her Husband

Question :

Approximately eight years ago, in order to resolve differences which had arisen as a result of my wife meeting with my brother's wife, I swore to her that if she went to my brother's house, she would be divorced. My aim in doing this was to restrain her and make her afraid, and it was never my aim to sever (marital) ties. My wife continued not to go to my brother's house until something happened which compelled her to do so, which was the death of my father. This occurred while I was out of the country. The place to which the women came to express their condolences was my brother's house, so my wife found no alternative to going there, regardless of any other matter. So when I returned to the country, she informed me of that and asked me to seek a legal verdict from the scholars in this matter. Thus, I put my question to Your Eminence, hoping that you will make clear the following:

1. Is she guilty of any sin by her going in this situation?

2. What is incumbent upon me, since I have sworn to divorce her?

3. What is incumbent upon her?

And finally you have my esteem and honor.

Answer:

If the situation is as you have described it in the question, then she is not divorced, if your intention in mentioning divorce was to prevent her from going out to the house of your brother and not to pronounce divorce if she went out, according to the most correct of two opinions held by the scholars. But you must make atonement for an oath due to this. However, if you intended that she should be divorced if she went out to the house of your brother, then it counts as one divorce for her, and you may return her as long as she is still in her waiting period, and as long as you have not previously divorced her twice. But if she has completed the waiting period, she is not permissible for you without a new marriage with all its incumbent conditions - that is, if you have not divorced her twice before, as we said previously. As for your wife, she should turn in repentance to Allah for that, because she went to your brother's house without your permission.

We advise you against being hasty in pronouncing divorce, whether conditional or total, until you have confirmed matters and the legal advantage in pronouncing it has become clear. May Allah improve the situation of both of you.

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