The Ruling on Preventing a Woman From Going With her Husband

Question :

When a young man proposes marriage to the girl of some family, the father of the girl insists on the payment of a large dowry and when agreement on marriage is reached and the young man marries her, the father of the girl refuses to allow her to accompany her husband to his house, so that she remains in his service. This causes great distress to the wife: Should she go to the house of her husband, or should she remain in the house of her father?

Answer:

This has caused many problems. I request from your Eminence that you guide the people to what is correct regarding these matters.

Allah, Most Glorified, Most High has ordained for His worshippers to make the dowry small and be economical therein, and likewise the wedding celebrations, so that every person is able to marry with ease and facility. In this way mutual cooperation in good deeds and striving the utmost for chastity of young men and women will be achieved.

We have written about this more than once, in implementation. of the obligation to advise and recommend one another to the truth. The Board of Senior Scholars has released resolutions and recommendations on this subject consisting of encouragement to decrease the dowry and not to spend large sums on wedding celebrations, and encouraging the community to do everything possible to make it easy for young men to get married.

I would like to take this opportunity to advise all of my Muslim. brothers to cooperate in this matter and to encourage one. another in it, so that marriage increases, illegal sexual intercourse decreases, and it becomes easier for young men and women to protect their chastity and avert their eyes. There is no doubt that marriage is the greatest means to do that, as the Prophet said:
"O you young men! Those among you who can afford it should marry, for it restrains the eyes (from casting evil glances) and preserves one from immorality; but he who cannot afford it should observe fasting, for it is a means of controlling the sexual desire.

And it has been authentically reported from the Messenger of Allah that he said:
"Whoever meets the needs of his brother, Allah will meet his needs."

And he said:
"Allah helps the servant as long as the servant helps his brother."

Allah, Most Glorified, Most High commanded His worshippers to cooperate with one another in righteousness and piety, and He praised those of His worshippers who encourage others to the truth, and patience, saying:

"By Al-'Asr (the time). Verily, man is in loss, Except those who believe (in Islamic Monotheism) and do righteous good deeds, and recommend one another to the truth [i.e. order one another to perform all kinds of good deeds (Al-Ma'rüf) which Allah has ordained, and abstain from all kinds of sins and evil deeds (Al-Munkar) which Allah has forbidden), and recommend one another to patience (for the sufferings, harms, and injuries which one may encounter in Allah's Cause during preaching. His religion of Islamic Monotheism or Jihad).

There is no doubt that cooperating in reducing the cost of dowries and wedding celebrations, and recommending people to do so is included in this topic.

Among the benefits of decreasing the cost of dowries and wedding celebrations is that the number of young men and women getting married will increase and the number remaining single will decrease. (It promotes) protection of the private parts (from illegal sexual acts) and restraint of the eyes (from evil glances), decreases immoral deeds and increases the numbers of the (Muslim) community, as the Prophet said:
"Marry productive, loving women, because I will have the largest number of followers on the Day of Resurrection."

As for the woman's father or her brother preventing her from going with her husband in order that she serve him, or herd his sheep or his camels, it is detestable and it is not permissible. It is incumbent upon the guardian to help unite the family and bring the husband and wife together, and likewise, it is an obligation upon him to beware of causing a split between them without a legal cause. And my advice to the guardians of women is to hasten to give those under their care in marriage to suitable men, even if they be poor, and to help them in that, in accordance with the Words of Allah, Most Glorified:
"And marry those among you who are single (i.e. a man who has no wife and the woman who has no husband) and (also marry) the Salihun (pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid-servants (female slaves). If they be poor, Allah will enrich them out of His bounty."

So Allah, Most Glorified has commanded us in this Verse to marry those who are single and those who are pious, fit and capable among the male and female servants. He informed us - and He is Truthful in His information that this is a cause of virtue for the poor, so that the spouses and the guardians may be assured that poverty does not prevent marriage; indeed, it is a cause of sustenance and wealth. We ask Allah that He grant success to the Muslims in (achieving) all goodness.