Showing Favoritism When Giving Gifts

Question :

Is it permissible for the head of the house to favor some of his heirs over others? We request Your Excellency to advise us.

Answer:

It is permissible for a person to prefer some of his heirs over others, if this preference is while he is in good health, except in the case of his children. It is not permissible for him to prefer some of them over others, except between the male and the female, because he may give the male twice what he gives the female. This is based upon the words of the Prophet:
"Fear Allah and act with justice between your children."

So if he gives one of his sons hundred Dirhams for example, he must give the others hundred Dirhams and give the girls fifty Dirhams each, or take back the hundred Dirhams which he gave to his first son. Yes, assuming that all of his children - male and female had reached the age of maturity and they permitted him to favor (one of them), there is no objection to this and we have mentioned this regarding the spending which is not obligatory.

As for the obligatory spending, he must give all of them their rights. But if it happened that one of his sons needed to marry and he paid the dowry for him, because the son could not pay it, in this case, he would not be required to give the others what he had given to the one who needed to get married, because marrying off (one's children) is a part of providing financial support.

In this connection, I would like to draw attention to something which some of the people do out of ignorance: A person has children who have reached marriageable age and so he marries them off, while he has other small children and he leaves for them after his death the same sum which he spent in marrying the grownup ones. This is forbidden and impermissible, because this bequest is a bequest for an heir and it is not permissible for the heir to receive a bequest. The Prophet said:
"Verily Allah gave every deserving person his right, so there is no bequest for the heir".

So if he said: "I bequeathed to them this money because I have helped their brothers get married with the same amount," then we say: "If those young ones reach the age of marriage before you die, then help them get married with the same amount as you did with their brothers. And if they do not reach the age of marriage, then it is not an obligation upon you to help them get married."

Source:
Ibn 'Uthaimin
Fatawa Islamiyah, Vol. 5 Pages 53-54-55