One Should Not be Careless About Pronouncing Divorce

Question :

I said to my wife: "I must divorce you if you do not leave my house and go to your father's house and sleep there." because of an argument with her. Then she actually left and went to her father's house, but the neighbors brought her back the same day and she did not sleep in her father's house that night, but in my house. Is there any (atonement for an) oath upon me? And what should I do so that I may avoid such an oath (in future)?

Answer:

Before replying to this question, I would like to request of my brother readers and from all of my Muslim brothers that they avoid statements such as these, and not to be careless in pronouncing divorce, because it is a great and serious matter. If they wish to swear, they should either swear by Allah, the Almighty, the All-Powerful, or be silent.

The scholars have differed regarding the ruling on swearing to divorce whether it is to the wife or another most of them holding the view that it is divorce and not an oath, and that when a person breaks his oath therein, his wife is counted as divorced.

Others hold the view that if an oath is intended by swearing to divorce, then it is an oath. If divorce is intended by it, then it is divorce, based upon the saying of the Prophet ﷺ :
"Deeds are according to intentions and every person shall have that which he intended."

The questioner said to his wife: "I must divorce you if you do not leave (my house) and go to your father's house and sleep. there." If his intention was to force his wife, and to emphasize that she must leave, then divorce is not counted against him - whether she left or not. But if she did not leave, he must make atonement for an oath, which is to feed ten poor persons or clothe them, or to free a slave, or if he is unable to do either, then to fast for three consecutive days.

But if he intended divorce by it, if she left the house, she is divorced, and if she did not leave, or left then came back and did not sleep (in her father's house), she is divorced. And if this was his third divorce, then she is not permissible to him afterwards, until after she marries another husband.

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