My Husband and His Children do not Treat Me Reasonably

Question :

I married a man whose wife had died leaving him with nine children.

I was to them like a mother with her own children. But all that I received from them was distress and pain. So much so, that the eldest daughter, who is married, used to leave her husband's house without his permission in order to cause disagreements and problems between us. All this would occur with the full knowledge of their father, who would unjustly take their side. I even purchased household requirements with my own money, even selling my own jewelry, but he did not repay this with gratitude. When the situation became worse and I asked for a divorce, he refused.
What can I do with a man who does not treat me with kindness, and will not part from me with kindness? And what is your advice to the husband and his children?

Answer:

Our advice to the husband and his children is to fear Allah regarding this woman if what she says is true and to live with this woman in a kind and equitable manner, in accordance with the Words of Allah, Most High:
and live with them honourably.

-and His Words:
And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable."

It has been confirmed from the Prophet that he said:

"The best of you is the one who is kindest to his wife, and I am the kindest among you to my wives."

Since he does not live with her except in the manner which she has mentioned, which is a detestable matter, then he is a sinner due to it before Allah, the Almighty, the All-Powerful. This will detract from his good Deeds on the Day of Resurrection, a Day when he will be in the severest need of good deeds.

As for what concerns the wife, and what she is obliged to do in this situation, I order her to be patient and warn the husband with that which will cause him to fear (Allah) and soften his heart. If there is no change, then Allah, Most High says:
"And if a woman fears cruelty or desertion on her husband's part, there is no sin on them both if they make terms of peace between themselves; and making peace is better. And human inner selves are swayed by greed. But if you do good and keep away from evil, verily, Allah is Ever Well-Acquainted with what you do."

So she should request the establishment of a group from among the good people to intervene in the matter, and try to arbitrate between them, according to what they see fit, whether reconciliation or parting, with compensation or without compensation.