I Want to Marry a Girl, But My Father is not Pleased with my Choice

Question :

I have chosen a girl to marry, suitable both in manners and in religion. When I informed my father, though, he refused my choice. I tried to convince him but he was relentless. I wished to know his reason, but he said that there was no reason. I am confused: should I obey my father or not? I am deeply wounded mentally because of this predicament. Please advise me about what is right for me to do And I pray that Allah Almighty will reward you well.

Answer:

This question requires me to give advice twice: first to A your father who refuses to allow you to marry a girl whom you describe as suitable both in character and in religion. It is incumbent upon him to allow to marry her, unless he has a Shari'ah reason to refuse. If he has such a reason, he should explain it to you until you are convinced and satisfied. Otherwise, he should imagine his own father refusing him from marrying a girl he liked, both in her religion and in her character. Wouldn't he see that his own father was restricting his freedom if he did? If he wouldn't like such treatment from his father, then how can he treat his own son similarly? Indeed the Prophet ﷺ said :
"One of you does not believe until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself."

So it is not allowed for your father to forbid you from marrying this woman without a Shari'ah reason in which case he would clearly explain it to you.

As for the advice to you: If you are able to leave this girl and find another that your father will be satisfied with, then do so, because you will be pleasing your father. If you are not able to do so, owing to your heart being attached to her, and if you are afraid that your father will refuse you again, as some people are even jealous of their own children, then it is permissible for you to marry her, even if he dislikes it.

Perhaps he will be satisfied by what he sees from the two of you after you get married. I ask Allâh to decree for you what is best for you in both considerations pleasing your father and choosing the right girl.

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