Bringing up Children
Question :
I had married a relative - from whom I had a child - but we ended up getting divorced, and it's not important here to mention the reasons. My son is now nine years old; I know that she has an Islamic right to keep him until the age of seven, after which he is allowed to choose which parent he wants to stay with. When I made a request for the custody of my son to the courts in Jordan, they informed me that the new law states that a child chooses between parents not at the age of seven, but at the age of fifteen. Living here in the Kingdom, I am only able to visit him during holidays, but even my visits are bitter. During my absence, his mind is poisoned against me, so that when he sees me, he curses me, spits at me, or if he sees me at a distance, throws stones at me. I still try to see how he is doing, but the mother refuses to let me see him and the courts have ruled that I can only see him for one hour every week. My question is this: Is it not my right to see my son, to raise him properly? The courts and lawyers have all failed to help me; please advise me.
Answer:
There is a great deal of difference of opinion regarding this issue in the courts, yet we advise you to try and keep good ties with the relatives of the mother, or try to have respectable friends intercede for you and to try and resolve your differences. By settling the differences between yourselves, and by both parties deciding together what is in the best interests of the child, you should if Allah wills arrive at a solution that is acceptable both to you and to her.
Source:
Ibn Baz
Fatawa Islamiyah, Vol. 8 Pages 340-341
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